dangertim

Stuff that's happened recently (in no particular order):

• Went back to H-town last weekend to visit my science fiction family. Had a blast. New Doctor Who has been leaked to the internet. It's really very good, much much better than the 1996 attempt to regenerate the series. Everyone I tell thinks I'm crazy or asks "Doctor... who??"
• Spent some time with Ogechi and Larry during the trip. 'gechi and I had our own Buffy sing-a-long at their new home in Pearland that might as well be a fucking mansion. God, that was so much fun. I now have over ten days worth of music on Janel. I have become a music whore.
• Had a good luch with Nicole at the 59 Diner on Sunday afternoon.
• Spent a wonderful afternoon with Molly from work on Wednesday. We both took care of our outdated car registrations. (Shelley's now street legal until Feb 2006!, after being illegal since this past May.) The clerk giving me my sticker said I was really lucky to not be ticketed and I agreed. So, things financial are being taken care of. It's slow going out of the hole, but it's going. Anyway, that afternoon was beautiful. The TXDoT stuff only took ten minutes, so Molly and I went to lunch at Shady Grove, swapped stories and walked around a bit in this new Austin sunshine, which is totally why I moved here. Life's never as bad as all that when it looks like it did this week outside. I'm in love with Austin again. I wish I had access to a hammock. Molly's pretty cool, I hope I get to hang out more with her.
• Decided that I spent too much on the unintended Woody Allen festival last month, and Netflix is worth the money. So I'm back on Netflix, which is ironically cheaper than it was when I left. (Probably a temporary side effect of resubscribing.)
• Took Adam to the Buffy screening at Spider House this past Tuesday night. His reaction was "oh, now I get it - it's funny!" Spider House is doing SXSW stuff for the next two weeks, than back to Buffy for a while, but moving on to Firefly soon. He's talking about moving again and he's asking me to be his roommate. I'm considering it. Maybe I can get him to teach me guitar to sweeten the deal.
• Speaking of Firefly, reinaness let me in on designs for her wedding dress. Awesome! I think I'm going to find a brown coat and try to learn the dance from that episode... I kinda look Mal-like anyway. Might be fun.
• Two weeks ago I met someone else who made me all fidgety in the store again. She's from Houston, and damn cute. She said she was moving here, and I promised myself when I saw her again I'd give her my number, thinking it would be months from now. I was wrong. She moved this week, and visited the store Wednesday and Thursday. Names and numbers were goofily exchanged. We're meeting for tea on Monday morning. I'm really excited about this.
• Last night I met up with a couple of girls from work at a bar downtown. I'd actually given up on them by eleven but they finally called, as promised, around a quarter to one. Much drama. At one point, all three of them were on cell phones, hoping their friends at another club weren't really driving to College Station. Crazy and brief, but fun. They were impressed to hear about Santa Rampage.
• I get to be Amish again tomorrow. Hopefully the last time. Pissed I wrote down the wrong date for a high tea class I was going to take at work. I hope they offer it again. I'm half wondering if the gorgeous weather will match the dismal footage gingerbrit </span>already shot... oh well.
• Ran into Robin A. from Bellaire at work on Thursday. I seem to be a magnet for Bellaire alums, even in Austin. Gave her my number and e-mail but haven't heard yet about her birthday party at the Dog and Duck this weekend. Didn't get any particulars from her, so I don't know if I'll see her again.
• Slowing down my reading of The Sandman in favor of going out more. Suddenly I'm invited to everything, which makes me happier. I still missed two events due to lack of internet at home. Must research fixing that next week.
• Amazingly, I have this weeekend off. A three day weekend at that. It's so amazingly fucking beautiful outside today. Will write and spend lots of time outdoors. Hoping to find ways to go camping soon, I have a lantern but no tent or sleeping bag.

Be excellent to each other. Oh, god, I can't believe I just said that. I guess I'm in an early 90s groove.

Back in Houston for the weekend. I'm happy to say the bluebonnets are growing on the side of the road again. Happy happy. I'll be back again Sunday night or Monday morning.

I have the next two days off. Must write, do laundry, work on the website.

And calm down a little. And write.

People have been telling me for years that I should read Neil Gaiman's Sandman comics. If this includes you, please know I started the other night. I don't know why I waited so many years when I loved reading Neverwhere so much. I expect to go through them quickly.

Thanks to those of you giving me support and advice over the last few days. I will consider carefully what you have said.

The moon was awesome last night. The rabbit, so visible, locked me into the light from its eyes for minutes.

As I remember what other sweet and somewhat crazy memories I have gazing up at the moon, I realize why some people go totally mad when it's breathtaking like this.

I want to feel on the verge of something, but I sense everything that is right for me is in my past and no longer accessible. I'm thankful for the moon. It's a bridging element in this land of new experiences, strangers and friends I've thrust myself into. As I try to catch my breath, I hope this light will visit me often. I need navigation.

 

 

No one (myself included) will be able to quite explain why I need to go out and see Constantine tonight, but I'm going to.

Maybe since I moved to Austin I've begun to embrace my inner geek more. At any rate, reconnecting with my nerdiness should spawn further episodes of Losers. (Speaking of which, if anyone has good sci-fi convention stories to share, let me know. Haven't been to one in years, I should start looking around...)

10:15 at the Alamo Drafthouse on W. Anderson Ln.

If you feel compelled to join me, call ahead, otherwise - I'm goin' in unescorted. Cover me.

 

I realized I haven't worked on the website since September. I look at the sites of other people I'm meeting and it puts me to shame. I really need to make getting internet at home a priority now. It's crippling my ability to interact with media contacts.

I must also get business cards. I meet people in film production at parties, I tell them I'm writer and suddenly they want my opinion on things. Weird. They need to walk away with an easy way to contact me. Does anybody know a good deal on cards? Otherwise, I'll ask Katie in a few weeks.

Yes, still alive.

Some updates:

• Still no internet at home. (Thus the bullet points.)
• I listened to NPR for the first time in ages the other day. There was an announcement that you only have to put up a $300 filing fee to run for Austin City Council member. One seat was still unopposed. For about four hours I was really excited about doing this. Then I started putting together a handwritten journal entry and realized how ridiculous this sounds.
• Sent in a car payment for the first time in months. Amazed Shelley hasn't been repo'd, and my dad isn't furious.
• Very happy about making a new friend last night. We spent an hour and a half talking/shopping at work after I clocked out. We agree we've met somewhere before, but can't figure out where. (Probably some Austin party I was studying bookshelves at.) She's a grip. A grip!! That absolutely rocks. Thinking about if she'll see The Third Man and/or the Buffy Sing-A-Long with me at the Drafthouse downtown next Thursday. And if not, that's actually okay, too. No hurries, no worries this time.
• I'm so EXCITED about the Burlesque show I'll be taping next week with gingerbrit . Working with media makes me feel alive again. This is why I moved to Austin.
• Which leads me to: Work is in progress on Work In Progress for the first time in years. I might actually have a rough draft by the summer. I also have a new idea for a Losers episode that I'll write a few lines for this weekend. This rocks.
• Going to Houston the first weekend in March. Spoke with Katie last week. Felt great, I'm happy she's doing well.
• I now own an external hard drive with 3400 songs on it. Holy cats! More importantly, I fixed Amelia's sound driver problem so I can actually listen to these excessive 3400 songs. Should be room to edit video with (still 149 GB remaining).
• I also own a much cheaper journal I carry around everywhere to jot ideas with when they come to me. Shouldn't lose any more "intellectual" assets.
• I got to be Amish for sketch comedy recently. (No, that's not me in the picture.) Did I mention it feels good to do production work again?
• I love love love Spider House when it first opens in the morning. Amazed I'm awake when I have such chronic insomnia, but even that's getting better.
• I've gone through more than half of Woody Allen's filmography in the past three weeks. It's fun and therapeutic. There are many recurring themes, but the most important one to me right now involves why humans do the things they do and if nothing important ever lasts, why continue to continue? I think Stardust Memories is an underrated classic.
• Going out tonight. This is something new. Weird.

I love you all! Take care,

Tim

In the field where I play, there sits a small red merry-go-round. My middle school mentality is supposedly too old to enjoy it, but it calls to me. I grasp one of the four handlebars reaching out from the axis and run in a circle. As my legs spin this wheel faster and faster, I challenge myself to hold onto its center. The center of the wheel hardly moves compared to the rest of the machine; a stable hub of a constantly changing world. I embrace it as tightly as I can, struggling against centrifugal force working to hurl me out toward the perimeter. A wind spins my hair as a cyclone. My heart pounds against my chest like it wants to escape. I am elated to be dizzy.

 

After a few seconds, I can hug the center column no longer, even though I try so hard.

 

I let go. The embrace is over.

 

An air of dust hangs along the outside of the merry-go-round as it slows, having been kicked up by my state of play.

 

Though others might consider the taste of dust and this gritty, coppery smell on my hands messy and unpleasant, I decide in this moment that this rush of sensory perceptions is all that’s worth living for. For these few seconds, I am truly alive. The trouble of anchoring me in the middle of this ride will be worth it, if only I can get this feeling to last.

 

I take the handlebar and go again.

This will likely be the last entry of 2004. Certainly the last before Boxing Day. My mom and sister will be in town and I need to keep them occupied. I hope my mother is serious about letting Kristen visit the universities in the area. It's certainly progress toward letting her explore the possibilities of studying somewhere other than Milwaukee and living with Mom.

Mom was shocked to find I have little furniture with which to eat Christmas dinner off of. She's already talking about buying me a table, though I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a couch of some kind. On the other hand, just time spent with them would be fine. Our Christmas will be anything but traditional this year, but the effort will be appreciated. I know I miss the holidays now that Katie and I are no longer together. I miss her Welsh father setting the pudding on fire and I miss even dressing up a bit. Though I'll be the one igniting brandy this year, it won't be the same.

Anyway, happiness to all. Be safe this season. Tell me stories when I see you again. God bless us, every one.

Here's to 2005 being an awesome year.

Over the last week I'm ramping up getting things under control.  I am much less stressed and I find I'm beginning to enjoy this time of rediscovery and learning about the absolute present moment that is now. I think Buddhism refers to this as mindfulness. I know now that the things that have taken place over the last year had to or I would never grow up.  It's still sometimes sad and often a struggle, but the process is important.

Getting better is good in general and especially since my mom and sister will be in town next week. Yikes! What the hell will I do with them? I am open to suggestion. I'll still be working throughout their vacation. Sigh.

In other news...

Bravo has selected their contestants for Situation: Comedy and we weren't chosen. Unsurprisingly, the title of our show (Losers) likely makes this unironic. Probably the best feedback I got from someone reading the pilot was "a network would never pick this up. It's too literate." Sadly, that statement isn't from anyone at Bravo. We didn't even get a shiny rejection letter from them. So... what now? Nicole and I have talked and decided we must have six episodes and writer's bible drafted before we can even begin thinking about casting/production/locations/financing, etc. But things are moving forward, deadlines are in place. With any luck, we'll start shooting it by this time next year, or perhaps presenting "episodes" in some theater somewhere with live actors. Though I *love* this suggestion (Nicole's), logistically I think it would be more difficult. But it's a cool idea out on the table and I'm excited about it.

If I know you and you want to read the Losers pilot, contact me. For legal reasons I won't put it out in the world, but I'm interested in more feedback. I'm also looking for writers (thus the need for a bible). In the interest of moving forward, we don't care which six episodes we start with or who writes them as long as they're as good as or better than the pilot.

Still reading plays to direct next year. Eliminated: Neil Simon's Last of the Red Hot Lovers and anything written by Ray Bradbury. Brillant sf author, but egads, terrible dialogue. Still considering: Woody Allen's Old Saybrook and Central Park West. Still reading: a bunch of Christopher Durang and Every Good Boy Deserves Favor by Tom Stoppard, though I can already see logistic problems with this play...

Mattress was good and fun and overall a great experience. Has helped me a lot in trying to integrate into this community. Thank you everyone involved in the show, especially sea_of_change.</span> Bravo! Bravo! Bravissimo!

I've watched all of Twin Peaks in the last two weeks. Weird.

What else do I want to say? Ummm... I've recently done and said things that friends have reacted to in unexpected ways. I think I project on people the reactions that I would have, and that's wrong because (duh) they're not me. This has been dangerous in the last couple of weeks. I've lost a friend over it. Not forever, I hope.

In an attempt to train myself to think ahead, I've started playing chess again. I'm enjoying losing to the computer. It's illustrating to me that I go into things without any kind of strategy. It's probably been fifteen years since playing with any kind of regularity. Over some Christmas vacation, I beat the computer once on the first level, and then I did the worst thing I could have done. I stopped playing, and have learned not too much since. I don't think playing chess will be a cure-all for my problems, but may go somewhere toward discipline. Plus, I just need to get better at my game. I think I've lost the last five or so against human beings.

Okay, I need to go work. Time to clean and revise.

If I don't see you soon, Happy Christmas and best wishes to you in 2005.  

This past week, I ran into Matt Jones at Central Market. Those reading this who knew them in high school may wish to know that he and his brother, David, are living in Austin. This took me completely by surprise, as I did not recognize Matt when he introduced himself. Matt gave me David’s number, so I called him Saturday night.

 

After catching up on the phone for a few minutes, we agreed we should hang out or something and he invited me to catch a show at Stubb’s with him. Live music is one of the reasons I moved to Austin, and only living here a month, I haven’t enjoyed any of it yet.

 

By 10:15 p.m., I was downtown, Shiner in hand, waiting for the band to start. I wondered if David would recognize me, or I him, as we haven’t seen each other in about five years. The last I had seen him, he was on vacation in Houston, between semesters at NYU and I had convinced him to take a small role in the series finale of Science Fiction Theater. I don’t think he’s ever seen the completed episode.

 

The band started. Bluegrass is not usually my thing, but they were good. They had to announce to the audience a couple of times that they were the South Austin Jug Band before I could quite catch the name. Memorable songs included “My Girlfriend is a Lesbian”, “Piss Up a Rope” and some Bob Dylan cover. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone play a mandolin before. A good experience all around, though there were a couple of times I wish I had someone special to attempt a dance with.

 

After a few minutes, David came downstairs looking jolly, like the Texas Santa Claus or something. David was with his friend, Thomas, and they had already been upstairs eating dinner before I arrived. (For non-Austinites, Stubb’s is also a barbecue restaurant.) David is currently working on a graduate degree at UT in technical theater. Thomas is probably doing something similar; they talked about microphones a couple of times during the show. Apparently, David knew Thomas in high school, though I hadn’t met him before that evening. We found we all had another mutual high school friend, Jeremy, whom I’m happy to hear is married in L.A. doing the struggling screenwriter thing.

 

David and I talked about all sorts of bits of our lives, people we knew back at Bellaire, new experiences since then. How Austin has an excessive, yet welcome population of beautiful women. There were certainly quite a few Mr. Jones and I could stare at that night. And just when did we get older? It snuck up on us.

 

The short version: After Bellaire, David went to New York for acting, ended up directing and designing. He decided New York sucks, so he moved to Austin and then Houston to work at the Alley for a while. Now he’s back. David echoes perspectives similar to mine: knowing he has talent, but not necessarily the skill set to achieve what he wants. Still, David must be leaps and bounds ahead of me in expertise. I’m so rusty that last week, I couldn’t even identify simple stage lights correctly. 

 

I told him about the show I’m in, (and oh yeah, his ex-girlfriend is directing and starring in it) so he’s coming next weekend to see Once Upon a Mattress. After that, I hope to hang out with him more often, maybe go fishing or enjoy live music, have a mini-high school reunion and maybe suck him into one or two film/theatrical projects.

 

Finding David here is so cool and totally unexpected. Awesome.

I just checked my bank account online. (Thank you, Austin libraries!!)

UH paid me without sending me notification. I *can* do my bankruptcy immediately.

It's been so long since posting here, that I once again have to sum up my current life in crappy bullet points, otherwise I won't know where to start. (Apologies.) As a result, my English has turned to crap. (More apologies.)

• Job is settling down. But once I'm through with the bankruptcy craziness, I might gather the courage to substitute teach for AISD instead. The upside is the schedule (no nights or weekends) which will free me up for creative collaboration with the rest of the world. Having more money wouldn't hurt either. Being paid once a month does however, so I'll need to have substantial savings in place before I can reasonably do this. On the flipside, a reason to stay with the current workplace may be tuition reimbursement toward massage therapy classes which I'm still considering. I haven't asked yet if they will pay for this, but they do help with regular university classes, so this is probably a possibility.
• I have finally found a bankruptcy lawyer. Will speak to him for the first time on Monday. I have scraped together $500, still need another $459. And good god, this is with the 25% off referral from my current job. Steep, but better than the $1709 quoted in Houston. Sadly, I didn't get nearly so much back from UH as I was expecting. Otherwise, I could pay for all of it at once. I'm so ready to be over with this so I can start saving up for other things and not worry about where my food/gas/lodging is coming from. CarMax was threatening this week to repossess Shelley, but Dad paid a large chunk of my overdueness, so hopefully they'll back off for a few weeks.
• I have Thanksgiving off. Bizarre. Don't know yet what I'm doing. I miss having some family to be with, even if it isn't mine.
• Nicole is coming over this weekend to spend some time in Austin. I mapped out all the cool places I've been to recently to show her options. I hope the relatively good weather holds. Probably we'll go to the Alamo Drafthouse. It amazes me I haven't been there yet. She'll spend a good chunk of the time herself, as I work Saturday and Sunday, dammit. (AISD, here I come...)
• Mattress is coming together well. I was expecting to be on running crew, but ended up in the chorus after tangent skipped town for Portland (?). I have a few lines of dialogue in Act I. Ten years after my last musical reveals that I'm still no dancer. I'm doing pretty well considering I've jumped into rehearsals after 75% of the process has already been completed. I've been putting off making sketches for the program, etc, but will make them early next week.
• Still looking for plays to direct next year. I don't think I have a musical in me, but rented Cradle Will Rock earlier this week. Inspiring.  
• I have a new driver's license and library card that both say "Austin" in my wallet. Go me. Will register to vote here soon. I found out that all the libraries here have wi-fi, and there's a branch right down the street from me. Maybe I'll get to check my e-mail more often.
• I am way behind on my nanowrimo. 11,440 words out of 30,000. Don't want to discuss it beyond that, other than I haven't given up.
• Holy shit, I really have done a lot this year. Working to make 2005 better.

( early Austin observations )

Today, I'm writing down everything that I know about doing my job. I decided some co-workers might this helpful too.

 

 

 

Processing the Form (aka the “fun” part)

 

Confused yet? You will be.

 

Now we’ll put all of this information in a computer, a device used to make millions of calculations per second in operations referred to as programs. One type of program is called a database. A database is a collection of data records electronically stored on a computer. Our database is networked. Essentially, it means that the computer our records are stored on (a server) is accessible on the computers at the Front Desk, your office and the other advisors.

 

The application (program) we use for our database is FileMaker Pro.

 

 

 

It feels like a holiday today. I think I'll rename it Flippancy Day.

But it begs the question, do I really need a holiday to be a smart-ass?

Must... stop... looking... at this book...

Get back to work, Tim.

<whip crack> Cody wants a pony.

Packing up my office.

happy happy

( Good thing they don't have an own it tag... )

of course I'd be trying to move on a day with a Flash Flood watch.

I hope it clears up by 6 a.m. as promised.

( survey )